You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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