I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
