I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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