Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There are leaves in my underwear?
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