imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
