I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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