I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
they're like a gay fantastic four
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize