operation harelip BJ is a go
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
