Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
