So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
