you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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