i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
