I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
