Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
