My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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