I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
