I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
How's work?
Spinning.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
