Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
