it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
