He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
