I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
