i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
