I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize