Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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