I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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