I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
