When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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