Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize