i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
