Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
