I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
high people should be assigned attendants
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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