I wannas sexs uuuuu
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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