i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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