My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sorry about my life...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
