dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
