The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
