I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
