just tell him i said nine months
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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