Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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