So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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