He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
