please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize