Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The adults are the big ones right?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
