I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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