My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
