I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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