do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
