people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
