Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
