and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize