I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
