I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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