So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
