I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
