i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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