he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
