He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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