It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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