I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
