So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
