What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
