Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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