I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?