Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
