Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
