i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
