This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
